Saturday evening Jan 25 [ 1817]

Last night I had no rest the purtubation [sic] of my mind was so great I could not
sleep  To day I have had more conversation with________and still find myself
unacquainted with my own mind  I find I am a poor weak frail creature I tremble
exceedingly and dare not act rashly or trust my own judgement [sic]  I am sensible I am
destitute of many qualifications which are requisite for me to possess in order to fill
with propriety the station to which I am invited  Ever since this subject was first
named to me I have felt as though I wished to be direct by God and have endeavoured
to make it a subject of prair [sic] I now feel an encreasing [sic] desire to be directed by him.
________as not tried to influence my mind he does not wish to  A subject of this magnitude ought to be duly and prairfully [sic]