Feb 15 [ 1817]

Last evening returned from a visit at T in company with_________  If I have
experienced pleasure from this visit it has been mingled with a large share of pain. My
diffidence and the peculiar circumstance in which I was placed greatly embarrassed my
mind  While there I not unfrequently [sic] wished myself alone in B that I might give vent
to my feelings by a feast of tears I however tried to summons [sic] all the 
presence [sic] of mind I possessed and endeavored to appear cheerful  How far I succeeded I
know not but guess not very well  For one old Lady asked me if I was not home sick I replied with a smile O no; not so soon. She said she was afraid I was for she thought she had discovered that I was restless and unhappy. The morning before I returned I felt less embarrassed and more cheerful. I am not now sorry I went.